She’s VERY Sensitive…

Bt Heather Maguire, Retreat Leader, ETJ

It happened all the time when I was little.

One grown-up would put a hand up to the side of their mouth and dramatically say, “She’s very sensitive,” to another grown-up while they waved their eyeballs in my direction.

I remember thinking, What a weird thing to do.

Why were grown adults talking about my feelings like that?

Like there was something wrong with having feelings.

I didn’t get it.

Of course as I got older, I learned how to hide my heart.

I thought that I was fitting in. Being normal.

But I wasn’t. I was collapsing. Caving in.

I had abandoned my own heart. I’d turned my back on her.

Maybe you can relate?

Maybe you have been taught the lie of Too Muchness.

If you have, you already know that Brene Brown hit the nail on the head when she said that trading authenticity for safety can lead to issues like anxiety, depression, addiction, and resentment.

I believe that life moves in two directions. One is outward: create, experience, build. The other is inward: accept, remember, return. Back to the sacred space of our own heart.

For me, this process is raw and real. It’s outwardly messy but inwardly cleansing.

It’s something I experience every time I go on retreat.

It’s there in my ugly crying when I share in the circle and it’s there twenty minutes later when I’m laughing at lunch. When I let go and dare to love my sensitivity.

That’s what it looks like to return to myself.

What does it look like for you? What does it feel like?

The most beautiful part to me is that my heart always welcomes me home.

She has no judgment. She holds no grudge.

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.” ~Brene Brown